Why So Many?

The first impactful death in my life was that of my grandfather. I was in the midst of college and work and practicing violin and jumpstarting my adult life and it happened. His was my first funeral where the person in the casket meant something to me. His was the first funeral which signified a newfound emptiness. A month later, Jon’s godfather, Dan, died. It was unexpected and left everyone numb. As our family was getting ready to leave for his funeral, we started to explain what had happened to Jon. Of course, we’d already told him, but we wanted to prepare him, once again, for what was to come at the funeral and to remind Jon that Dan was in heaven now.

He paused, tilted his head in thought, and said, “Dan say, ‘Hi’, to Pop?”.

At that time, Jon was about twelve, and too young to fully comprehend what death meant, but incredibly, he got this part. And this response would be what calmed me in the moments when Pop’s death really hit me. Pop was in heaven. And so was Dan. And they were saying, “Hi”, to each other.

It would be well over ten years before death would again hit my family with such ferocity, first with several deaths within our family church and then, most recently, with my mother-in-law and, just this week, grandmother-in-law.

It wasn’t totally necessary to tell Jon about Lance’s grandmother’s passing, but I did. When I told him about Lance’s mom, he’d instinctively grabbed Lance and wrapped him in the tightest hug. Remembering this, I thought, Who am I to keep this death secret from him? I’ve told the rest of my family, why not him? Especially when I know the healing impact a Jonathan hug can bring.

What followed was a talk about death, a subject Jonathan is increasingly curious about these days. He became teary eyed as I showed him pictures on my phone of Lance’s grandmother, and thrust the phone back at me and said, “Why so many?”

He started listing the people in his life who have died and repeated the question.

“Why so many?”

And it’s such a good question, one I didn’t initially know how to answer and, quite honestly, still don’t.

Because it’s part of life? It’s true, but it doesn’t feel quite right.

Because we can’t live forever? Again true, but still doesn’t get to the heart of his question.

I said something, I’m not even sure what, to answer him, to try to help him grapple with the thought, but the question kept going in my mind all day.

Life is so rich and filled with so many opportunities and splendor, but this isn’t the end. The only hope I can give to this pestering thought of Why so many? is that a world of wonder lies beyond death for those who have built their hope in Jesus. And that each of us is called to this world of wonder at our own perfect time. And when we go, we get to say ‘Hi’ to all those who have gone before us.