Hindsight is interesting. We often use it as an excuse. As if Hindsight should’ve warned us of something we shouldn’t have done. In Hindsight, I wouldn’t have made this decision. If only Hindsight had clued me in.
In Hindsight, I shouldn’t have adopted another dog last Christmas. But in Forward Sight, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Lilo Lilikoi
The search had been casual. Then, we moved into our new house and it was constant. Applications were filled. Potential connections were made. Stitch went to an adoption event and was the model dog citizen* as he met other dogs.
*Here’s the thing about Stitch: He’s always been a little socially awkward. His response to other dogs is either Kill! or Play! with no middle ground. After moving into our new house, he seemed to be longing for companionship.
Stitch Sausage
Lilo was at a shelter an hour away from us in Pennsylvania. She’d been bid on by this shelter and brought there from Georgia where she’d been used for breeding, lived her entire life in a kennel, was heart worm positive, and wasn’t 100% potty trained. She was estimated to be five years old.
Like most of America, I’d been drawn to the Frenchie appeal, but there was no way I would buy one from a breeder—a few of the reasons being: cost, lack of ethics in breeding, lack of safety precautions taken in breeding. This meant searching shelters and Frenchie foster organizations where I began learning about how breeder mommies are often shipped off to shelters once they’ve fulfilled their use. I knew that was the kind of Frenchie I wanted to adopt.
When Lilo and Stitch met, she was full of life and he was on guard, uncertain of this 17-pound thing that was running around the room, jumping up and swatting his face. The shelter approved our adoption and we took her home that day—December 22nd.
For the first few weeks, Lilo would violently shake when I held her. She was terrified of everything. She’d never used stairs before. She didn’t understand going outside—and it was freezing out. She didn’t know how to take a walk.
And Stitch was curious, confused, and stressed.
While I was emotional, exhausted, and worried.
I felt like I was destroying Stitch’s happiness, but then I’d look at Lilo and think of the torture she’d been through. The thought of making her have to start all over was impossible.
We did a lot of things wrong, some because we didn’t research enough* and some because the shelter gave some not-so-perfect recommendations**.
*How long to keep new-to-each-other dogs apart, how much space to give a new dog, what kind of shell shock a breeder mommy has from what she’s gone through…
**On crate placement and allowing them together
You know how when you have a problem and you hold out hope that it will just disappear? Yeah, that was us for the first three months. Lilo and Stitch just weren’t getting along like…Lilo and Stitch*.
*Or, they were, just Lilo and Stitch at the start of the movie.
There’s so much to this story: Bad altercations. Tearful contemplating. Phone conversations with experts. Training sessions. Good interactions. Graduation from training. Morning walks together.
The thing I’d emphasize about this past year is this:
It wasn’t and still isn’t easy. Things aren’t perfect yet, and they may never be our definition of perfect, but they are getting better. It’s been a labor of time. It’s been giving up vacations. It’s been staying alert. It’s been correcting and correcting and correcting. It’s been a life lesson. On thinking things fully through. On not giving up. On animals and the impact our actions towards them can have.
I’ve saved this quote from my last post for today because it fits in with today’s post like a chestnut praline latte fits in my hand: perfectly.
“It isn’t annoying, her need—it isn’t a burden. It’s a privilege. I’m responsible. I chose to put myself in a situation where I’m responsible. Wanting to look after her, a small, dependent, vulnerable creature, is innate, and I don’t even have to think about it. It’s like breathing.
For some people.”
-Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine
In Forward Sight, I’m trusting this decision from last Christmas to change me for the better. That the impact and change these dependent creatures have on me is as great an impact as I hope to have on them by providing them a safe and loving environment.
It’s my hope that anyone bringing a new animal into their home this year would feel the same.
For your listening pleasure: Sia’s ‘Puppies Are Forever’*
*Trigger Warning: Dog People, you’re going to love this song, but you’re also going to cry.
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