The Attack of the Confused Creatures

We are being invaded.

Attacked.

Overrun.

Infested.

Penetrated by the worst assailant possible.

It isn’t human.

And it is driving me to near insanity.

The vicious invader with no regard for human property?

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Oh yes, I know there are worse things in life.

Spider crickets.

Snakes.

Scorpions.

Mice.

Ants.

Rats.

But these little creatures have left me cornered, rocking back and forth, sucking on my thumb and calling for my mommy.

Right now Jersey has no clue what kind of weather is appropriate for January. Therefore we have found ourselves with a wild assortment of temperatures. The current one closer to that of winter (today’s high: a wild 24 degrees that feels like 10), but it was only a week ago that I could go out with only a sweatshirt on.

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Clearly, this has led these creatures to be confused as to what season it is and to where they belong. I would feel bad for them if it weren’t for one thing: they have decided they belong in my home!

I have a rule regarding critters. If you are in my home–you die. If you are in your home–you live. I don’t step on bugs, if I can help it, when I am outside. I don’t go around looking for mice to catch in traps outside. But if I find you in my house–it’s over.

Thus I have found myself nervously twitching each time I see another one of these bugs in their most likely to be found location: my back music room. The corners of the room are scattered with dozens of carcasses of which I have purposely left as a warning to other invaders.

This chick means business.

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Still they seem to find my threats a bluff and continue to invade day in and day out. Last night we planned to set poison to their beloved window (the one that is betraying me and letting them in), yet a light dusting of snow prevented such a thing from occurring.

All I know is this…they had better sleep with one eye open.

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